Okay fine twist my arm I'll write about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce

Taylor Swift is in her F*ck It Era, and the illusion of transparency requires dating someone who doesn't mind being seen

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When I was little, going to the grocery store was an exercise in negotiating. I’d mentally psych myself up in preparation to concede some of my demands — there was no way I’d come out of there with Gushers and Fruit Roll Ups.

Watching Taylor Swift appear next to Travis Kelce’s mom Donna in Travis Kelce’s suite at Arrowhead Stadium was like going into the supermarket and hearing my mom say, “You know what? Let’s get both. Gushers and Fruit Roll Ups. In fact, toss in those chips. Grab the Dunkaroos. Knock yourself out with the Twinkies.”

If one more NFL analyst makes a “she’s in the bleachers” joke or says “Kelce had a blank space in the end zone” I swear to goodness gracious…….

It was too much! It was a glut of information! It was as though this newsletter became sentient and walked into a football stadium, overwhelming me with the possibilities of things to write about. I’ve written about Taylor way too much, and I wrote about the Kelces yesterday. I feel an enormous pressure to deliver new jokes, new thoughts, and new analysis about two of my most-thought-about pop culture and sports figures.

Currently, the inside of my brain is just a highlight reel of Taylor watching Travis score a touchdown. I woke up thinking, “I hope she writes a song about Andy Reid’s clock management.” It is too much for my brain, I am a broken woman, someone help me.

But I don’t seem to be the only one — Patriots coach Bill Belichick even used up his one joke per-year on this:

"Well I would say that Travis Kelce's had a lot of big catches in his career. This would be the biggest."

What is this, you might ask?